Farewell to Hayes Valley, 10 things you might not know

Alas, the time has finally come to pull up roots from my beloved Hayes Valley after almost 19 years.  I've always said that if Seinfeld were written about San Francisco there would be an episode about the couple with two rent control apartments.  For a long time the jury was out for us on where to go.  Giant, cheap and no amenities ultimately lost out to affordable enough, quiet with reserved parking (the holy grail of this city).  And so it is. Today is my last official day with a residence in Hayes Valley.  The truck is loaded, furniture moved, and all that remains is dropping off the keys at the landlord.

In no particular order, here's the list of things you might not have known about Hayes Valley unless you put in that kind of time:

1) Everything's changed and totally remains the same:  Back in the day (1994) there were quite a few empty storefronts along with a bold outpost or two.  Props to Suppenkuche, Place Pigalle, Marlene's and Moishe Pippic for betting right early.  Those are the only businesses I can recall who were there then and who are still here today.  Suppenkuche, more than anyone else, Hayes Valley seems to have grown into you.  Cheers on the new beer garden.  I still remember fondly (?!?) walking across the street in May of '94 to walk into the empty Pigalle to find bad French rock blaring and Jean Jacques behind the bar literally wearing rose colored glasses.  I owe Place Pigalle for perhaps too many good evenings, quiet family nights and witness to dark places I never hope to see again. 

2) And the old school HV award nominees are: 

• "I gotta go."  On a Saturday afternoon with my roommate, dear friend and self-described church-lady Nicole, we heard the sound of shots ringing out in the middle of a busy day on the street.  Eyes met in the unmistakable 'did you hear what I just heard' look.  We both stood on the couch in the front window to get a sense what just happened.  Moments later a suspect fled through the busy afternoon shoppers as police combed the neighborhood looking for him.  I stepped down from the couch.  Nicole remained for a moment, shocked.  That moment, looking down at me from the couch, Nicole decided her time in the HV had come to an end.
• "They've got your cat up in the projects and plan on feeding him to a pit bull."  That one was rich.  Or should I say, addiction will help a man to come up with some zingers.  Our cat got out, was snooping around the neighborhood for a few days and appeared not long after he departed.  But it was long enough for us to start looking for him and asking around.  It made sense to ask Kenny, who used to live in an alley where the Octavia park is today.  He cooked up this story with the follow up "if you give me $10, I'll see if I can buy him back."  No thanks Kenny.
• "And you're getting in my car because?"  There's still a bit of the drug trade in Hayes Valley.  But not like it once was.  One thing you see quite a bit less of are the, ahem, related service industries that fuel the drug trade.  Living in the neighborhood once meant saying hello to the girls who were wrapping up their business day as you were just beginning yours.  So you get to know each other and occasionally say hello.  But if you're driving slowly, say looking for parking, then you might be confused with a customer.  And a girl might get in your car before she realizes you're a neighbor and not a john.  Credit to Josh Golomb who was on the receiving end of this awkward moment.  They just said hello and everybody went about their business.
• Your comments will determine the winner.

3) Gentrification has changed the day, but perhaps not the night:   I won't miss having my car broken into.  People look at all the new retail and think it's a different kind place than it is.  I can't tell you who all those people are waiting outside of Stacks on Sunday morning, but not a one of them lives in the HV.  

4) Hayes Valley residents don't wear those shoes:  I'm still amazed how much a pair of shoes cost in Hayes Valley.   Okay, I own one pair-- the kind that look dirty and used when you buy them new.  Don't judge me.  I was in the HV for more than a decade before I finally broke down and did it.

5) Farewell to Marlene's:  I hear it's closing soon.  You should go while you still can.  This is one of the oldest drag bars in the city.  Living in the neighborhood, I got a chance to see some performances that were part of the Empress contest.  Let me just say they make some very large high heels these days.  Marlene herself always stuck me as a cross between Mel and Flo from the old sit-com Alice.  You rock what you've got.  As one of the ever present people in the park across the street said, "time for that old bitch to hang it up."

6) Best kept secret the outsiders haven't found yet:  Arlequin's back patio is a gem.  Sunday morning it's usually easy to find a table.  And any afternoon you can get a bottle in the wine store, bring your own corkscrew, and enjoy the back patio for half the price of anywhere else.

7) The quake of '89 and politics were the key to success for Hayes Valley:  No question, the rebirth of Hayes Valley began when the central freeway came down.  It's always had the blessings of micro-climate to put a gleam in the eye of any real estate developer, but before the freeway came down, the HV was a home to junkies and dealers in a way it is not today.  It took 3 city ballot initiatives-- in favor of not rebuilding the freeway and creating Octavia boulevard, then one passed reversing that measure, then a three times is a charm and the initiative passed.